Having studied developmental psychology, having a postgraduate qualification in primary education, and having always surrounded myself with children and childcare, I was pretty certain I would have this parenting malarkey nailed.
Not so.
So, for a laugh (at myself in a few years down the line), I thought I’d make a list of Things I’ll Never Do with/to/at my child. He’s 9 months at the moment and so far I have already:
- Co-slept every night since he was 5-weeks old (after my husband and I were blind with exhaustion due to staying awake in shifts for a baby who WOULD NOT LIE ON HIS BACK IN HIS OWN BED. Trust me, we tried.).
- Used a dummy as a pacifier (subsequently the baby rejected it at a few weeks old. If you have the option – force it upon your baby – otherwise, like myself, your nipples will become pacifiers. Ouch.).
- Given him Calpol as I was ‘pretty sure he has teething pain’. Regardless, it worked and he calmed down.
Things I still plan on doing/being good at (but fully appreciate this may never be the case having now met my child):
- Explaining things as fully as possible (for the situation) when he asks ‘Why?’.
- Not pacifying him by giving him sweets/crisps/toys when he starts to lose his shit in the supermarket.
- Be relaxed every mealtime and not stress about eating ‘one more spoonful’.
- Not using TV as a reward.
- Not getting stressed out during his meltdowns.
- Ensuring he’s well behaved when I take him to restaurants.
- Signing with him and expanding our vocabulary to help him communicate.
- Take him seriously when he seems ill rather than assume he’s being dramatic.
- Be well prepared for all eventualities and have a bag packed full of all the things I need.
Squidgy Pie 