Category: Baby problems

Weaning Woes

I absolutely LOVE weaning. Well, I should be more specific and say I absolutely love the IDEA of weaning. All those healthy foods and smiling mushy-faced babies gobbling and playing and giggling seems like a total hoot to me.

Unfortunately, what the books negate to mention is the cleaning up. Jeeeezo. I thought I did a lot of washings beforehand. Now I’ve got mini-tables, chairs, floors, floormats, faces, hands, bodies, cups, plates, onesies, bibs, weaning bibs, weaning spoons, weaning cups, walls, and other children to CLEAN. ALL before I try spooning mush into a ‘that-real-food-can-get-to-fuck’ mouth a few hours later.

Lawd have mercy 😰

Surviving a sleep thief

FBI agents are trained how to survive torture. One such torture that they are trained to survive is sleep-deprivation. As are the CIA, MI6, and other such valued assets. Sleep-deprivation is a recognised form of torture – and here we are fumbling through motherhood being exposed to the same type (and often more prolonged versions) of sleep-torture. It actually physically hurts. 

Pre-baby, I used to think that every few weeks I needed a ‘duvet-day’ to recover from my “hectic week”. Ohhhh how I laugh now when I think of what my definition of tired was back then. I was a wee bit tired from working a bit and maybe going out for dinner once. 

Then I had a baby. A baby quite obviously trained in the art of sleep-deprivation torture. A baby who would not lie down would not sleep would not let me even think the thought of putting him down even for just a wee baby minute so I could stretch my arm out. Nope. It wasn’t happening. He tortured my husband and I for months. Our bones actually ached. We weren’t sure of our names anymore. We didn’t know what day it was. We couldn’t taste anything. And we promised that little tiny baby we’d do anything anything ANYTHING he’d ask of us if we could please just go and even look at the bed for 5 minutes.

But it wasn’t to be. 

So we worked in shifts, round the clock, often calling in my mum or sister to have a turn for a few hours. We survived on 2-3 hours sleep for the first few months. It was absolute torture. But people kept telling me it would pass. And I knew that. But in those dark moments, especially at 4am when I was all alone and singing or shushing or sitting watching re-runs of the Kardashians it could get lonely and it was hard. And I’d Google why my baby was the only baby in the whole world that was awake? And Google told me it was normal and that it would pass. So I believed it (who’s to question Google at 4am?!). 

Fortunately Google was right. A loooooong few months passed (18 to be precise) but I survived. And now he does sleep. Occasionally. There is hope my friend – one day they’ll sleep well. And you’ll have been so well trained to not need sleep that you’ll never sleep again and instead spend the time awake worrying what’s wrong with your baby. 

Drink some wine and get some sleep. They’re fine and know exactly what they’re doing.  Little sleep thiefs. Just remember to get them back when they’re teenagers.

Breastfeeding tips for the mother of the baby who just won’t do it right 

  1. Do not listen to the nonsense some people tell you. You’ll know it’s nonsense because it’s strict advice and it will sound ridiculous and unmanageable. Do not do it. Experiment and discover what works for you in your own time. 
  2. Delete the YouTube breastfeeding videos. And the ‘handy’ free nhs clips. They are not handy – they are stress inducing. Your nipples are very probably not in the same place/position/angle/height/orientation as the perfect example you are seeing in the videos. Your baby is also probably not 3-months old – like the model baby in the videos. So don’t try to copy them as it probably won’t work. 
  3. Once you’ve discovered what works for one boob – you’ll get to try a whole host of different techniques for the other one. As above, just as your boobs are different from the lady’s in the video – they’re also different to each other. Great! 
  4. Fortunately, your baby comes with some kind of pretty cool in-built software that helps them know what they’re doing – so get your boobs out, lie down, and snuggle. Your baby will do the rest. Relax as much as possible – they’ll get there and find an angle that works for them. (Apparently a wee bit of crying in between crawling (yes crawling in a newborn!!) is normal.
  5. Do skin-to-skin immediately after birth and as much as you can for the weeks following. The baby thrives off of this and it helps to release hormones in both of you that will also encourage milk production. 
  6. Bottle feed to supplement. This has no effect on your success of breastfeeding. Of course always put baby to breast first to keep your production up but giving them a wee top-up of formula to give them energy/let them (and you!) sleep longer is a definite must. More rest will also help your milk come in. 
  7. Buy nipple cream. And lots of it. Lanolin is fabulous and a definite life-saver.
  8. Your milk might not come in straight away. I know some mums who’s milk came in before they’d left hospital, whereas mine took around 8 days to even appear. Again, don’t compare yourself to others. If you want it to work – it will. But bottle feeding is also great too. Feeding your baby is great – so do that in whichever way possible. 
  9. Can your baby stick its tongue out? Right out like an adult would (not just licking its lips)? If not, you might want to get it checked for a tongue-tie. Ask your health visitor for a referral asap (the sooner it’s discovered the sooner your baby can latch properly). If you’re not referred and still concerned your GP should be able to refer you. 
  10. Ask advice and push for what you believe in – 9 out of 10 times you’ll be right (and the other 1/10 can easily be blamed on sleep deprivation). 
  11. I wasn’t lucky enough (nor have I met any woman who was) to get a baby who slowly tilted their head back with a nice wide open mouth. So I’m not sure what use that advice is. 
  12. It probably won’t happen overnight. Give yourself a break. If all goes well it might take few weeks. If it’s a little bit harder it might take months (tho at times will get easier and you’ll get a wee boost). It took me 4.5 months on my weaker side 😳 but much faster on my ‘mega-boob’ (as it came to be known) so I was encouraged to persevere. 
  13. Persevere, persevere, persevere. You’ll get there. But it’ll take time. And it’s definitely worth it. 

Breastfeeding Tips

I had hoped to be a magical pregnancy unicorn. Everyone else around me was and I’d practised waddling like a pregnant lady since I was little so I was pretty sure my body was prepared for what lay ahead. It wasn’t. It broke me (quite literally in two). 

So, I thought, okay okay post-birth will be my thang. I’ll nail this breastfeeding malarkey. Naht. Not to be. Where’s the fun in that? 

However what my body didn’t know is that this was mind over matter. This wasn’t a pelvis splitting, or vomiting up everything I ate, or a massive hernia becoming overly distended. I could control this. 

And sure enough, 4.5 months later (that’s 18 weeks, 139 days, or more appropriately (since I awake for 3331 of them) 3336 hours) I had endured hell, but I had succeeded. Screw you body. I win. 

For 3336 hours I had sat, primarily top-naked, baby in one hand and boob in the other and tried technique after recommendation after theory after YouTube clip. I tried everything I could get my hands on. And unfortunately everything that combined to work didn’t come from the same site. So, here is a list of facts about breastfeeding that I personally found useful. I hope one of them helps you too. 

1. Get naked. Get your baby naked (nappy optional). Have constant skin-to-skin. In my rush to make everything perfect I got too clinical too quickly. Relax and snuggle with your baby – it’s miraculous what this does for your hormones. 

2. Do not sit up straight whilst relaxing your shoulders – this is virtually impossible. Instead, find an angle that works for you and your baby simultaneously (fyi the perfect angle is different for everyone). 

3. Try lying down. I got so exhausted and overwhelmed with instructions that I lay down through pure necessity. And it was spectacular. Lying down gave the baby room and scope to wriggle and make himself comfortable – I wasn’t holding him or tilting him or manipulating him into a ridiculous position – he simply did what made him happy. Ultimately that’s what made breastfeeding work for us. 

4. Drink loads of milk. Not because it’ll go straight into your boobs but because it’ll keep you hydrated and provide you with vital protein. 

5. Your baby will most likely not tilt his/her head back like the ones in the ‘helpful’ breastfeeding videos. Your baby is a newborn and not a 3-month-old breastfeeding veteran. So don’t hold your breathe for that bloody head-tilt. 

6. Squeeze your boob. Cup your hand under your boob and make it more vertical-sandwich-shaped to go along with your baby’s mouth (i.e. don’t squeeze from the side in the classic C-shape as this just makes it even more awkward to fit into your baby’s mouth). Squeeze as it increases milk flow and will help your baby learn that they’re getting there. 

7. Bottle feed to supplement if your baby needs it. This will give them extra energy for breastfeeding, not detract from successful feeding. They love their mama and will do anything to be close to you so don’t worry about confusion. They’ve just been born screaming into this world – they’re pretty good at accepting most things as the norm. 

8. Be prepared for the hormone dump. Day 5 perfectly combines dumping every hormone your body can find on you causing you to be extraordinarily unstable whilst being the number of days by which your baby should be putting on weight. This can result in your midwife telling you that you are ‘starving your baby’ and ‘he’s crying because of you’. Neither of these statements are helpful and when sleep deprived and hormone dumped it is impossible to cope with. Give your baby a bottle, go for a nap, and start the day again. Go back to point number 1. 

9. Get a new midwife if your current one is useless.

10. Have patience. Lots and lots of it. Breastfeeding won’t happen straight away, but it will happen if you persevere. Keep going. Try loads of different things and see what works. Unfortunately something that works one day might not work the next – but that statement is true for all things baby-related. And breastfeeding is no different. 

11. Don’t feel guilty about Facebook stalking or keeping up with the kardashians whilst breastfeeding. I literally NEVER put my baby down (even popping to the loo was a mission) so I needed something to ease the mind-numbing stillness and searing pain that is the first few weeks of breastfeeding.

12. It hurts. Not necessarily sharp but like a grating pain over and over and it can get too much – especially at the 23rd hour of the day. Use lanolin. It’s magical. 

13. It gets better. A lot better. And it is truly wonderful. Don’t ever think you can’t do it – everyone can. It’s just a matter of how hard you try. And if you want it – it’ll happen. Though if you fancy/end up bottle feeding that’s cool too. Don’t be hard on yourself – you’re feeding your baby and that’s what counts. 

The time my baby gave me Hand, Foot & Mouth Disease.

I try to be a good mum. I strive to get exactly the right balance between letting my child explore and sterilising everything to death. I don’t want him to get germs, but I don’t want him to have loads of allergies in later-life as he’s never encountered germs before either.  

I take my little one to lots of baby classes – sensory, signing, yoga, zoo tots, bookbug; you name it and we’ve probably done it. And I allow him to explore and play throughout these classes without rushing around and spraying other children with disinfectant. I’m nice like that. But it does make me itchy just watching the germs crawl up his hands and arms as he wriggles and squirms and frolics on the ground. But he’s having fun, so I sit there itching. And assuming I’m doing what’s best for my son. 

Then one day when we were out for lunch I noticed a little spot on his hand, but assumed he’d bitten his hand (not uncommon) and it had gone a bit red. Then a friend commented on how chickenpox was doing the rounds and I suddenly diagnosed him with it. In a mild panic I text my husband who questioned if he had them on his torso (classically that’s where chickenpox starts). Nope. Nothing there. Hmm. Then back came the text ‘Perhaps he has Hand, Foot & Mouth Disease?’. 

WHAT?! 

He has mad cow disease?! How on earth did he manage that? Is he going to die?!

No. Calm down crazy lady. Hand, Foot & Mouth Disease is unrelated (then why, pray tell, is the name soooo similar?!). Anyways, a quick GP appointment was booked and off I went. 

The GP didn’t even look at my son’s hands and feet (which by now – within a few hours) were covered in blisters. I asked about treatment and quarantine time and if I was likely to get it – nope nope nope came the response. Alright then. Home I go. 

I administered calpol and lots of cuddles and it seemed to help the wee trooper. The worst he ever seemed was a bit droopy and hot for a few hours so I did my best to keep him cool and comfortable. I snuggled him as best I could without getting him too hot and played and read with him. 

Then I started to feel a bit fluey. Hmm. That’s odd. But not too surprising as I’ve had more colds and been more ill since having him than ever before. Thanks baby. 

Then the shakes started. Then the shivers. Then the fever. Then the blisters came. Under my nails and all round my mouth and cheeks. My entire throat became one large ulcer and it was agony to swallow. The ulcers crept forward through my mouth.  I was pretty sure I was dying. 

Are. You. Kidding. Me. 

I thought I couldn’t get it?! Apparently you can’t, unless you’re exhausted and immunocompromised. Cue me. 

I felt absolutely dreadful – how did my baby manage to stay happy and smiley for those few days?! I had only given him calpol as a last resort to ‘ease his discomfort’ and here I was drugging myself to the eyeballs, almost to the point of numbness, so that I couldn’t feel anything. My tiny little baby was better at manning-up than I was. 

It was absolutely horrendous. I’ve never been ill like it. I was almost paralysed with ulcer-all-over-the-mouth discomfort. And yes, that is possible. 

A few drug-induced days passed and fortunately I started to recover. None of my nails fell off (which is quite common?!) but a few still have large gaping holes where the top few layers of nail fell off. Deeelightful. 

Now begs the question – do I take that bottle of disinfectant with me and spray everything in sight?! Or live to get sick another day? 

Living in a messy house

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It’s exhausting. And at times very frustrating (for example right now I’m sweating as I just rocked the baby to sleep, rushed downstairs, washed the dishes, and was halfway through folding the clean clothes from the dryer when the baby woke up again – so am now typing this while feeding the baby as time is passing too quickly and so doing three things at once seems to accomplish more (albeit with less finesse and effectiveness than I may like to admit)).

But despite being blind with exhaustion and desperately wondering what the Kardashians are up to this season, when I see a wee bundle of toys splayed in the corner, or fold back the duvet on my bed and find a rattle, my heart smiles. It’s magical. And each time it happens I remember how blessed I am to have this messy house. A house filled with love and toys and too much fun being had to keep it spotlessly clean. So by all means come visit – but don’t bother reminding me about the mess as I’m having too much fun to care. 💜

To Calpol or not to Calpol – that is the question

One of the main topics of conversation in my household at the moment is our prolific use of Calpol. On almost every evening we’re pretty convinced Baby L is DEFINITELY teething – but should we ‘Calpol him’ or just cuddle and help him through it?!

As an adult, when my wisdom teeth make moves (they’re not even fully through?!) I can quickly reach for the paracetamol and I also have the added benefit of UNDERSTANDING what is going on. But my poor baby has aching gums, a rash all over his face, throbbing fingers from the constant chewing, and I’m still not sure if I’m drugging my baby inappropriately?!

Tonight, after two hours and multiple failed attempts at getting him to sleep longer than 10 minutes, we’ve decided it is going to be a Calpol night. But now I am suffering from Calpol Boob – pink gooey syrupy residue from #Calpolgate has now been transferred to me and I’m sticking to everything. Lovely. Welcome to parenthood.

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Silver Spoon Baby

So Baby L has suddenly decided that he only eats from silver ‘grown-up’ cutlery. Why or how did that happen?! I can make all the airplane and funny noises I like, but ain’t no cutlery crossing those perfect little pouty lips unless it looks likes cutlery that an adult might use. Ohhhhh man can’t wait til he’s a toddler! :-s