I had hoped to be a magical pregnancy unicorn. Everyone else around me was and I’d practised waddling like a pregnant lady since I was little so I was pretty sure my body was prepared for what lay ahead. It wasn’t. It broke me (quite literally in two).
So, I thought, okay okay post-birth will be my thang. I’ll nail this breastfeeding malarkey. Naht. Not to be. Where’s the fun in that?
However what my body didn’t know is that this was mind over matter. This wasn’t a pelvis splitting, or vomiting up everything I ate, or a massive hernia becoming overly distended. I could control this.
And sure enough, 4.5 months later (that’s 18 weeks, 139 days, or more appropriately (since I awake for 3331 of them) 3336 hours) I had endured hell, but I had succeeded. Screw you body. I win.
For 3336 hours I had sat, primarily top-naked, baby in one hand and boob in the other and tried technique after recommendation after theory after YouTube clip. I tried everything I could get my hands on. And unfortunately everything that combined to work didn’t come from the same site. So, here is a list of facts about breastfeeding that I personally found useful. I hope one of them helps you too.
1. Get naked. Get your baby naked (nappy optional). Have constant skin-to-skin. In my rush to make everything perfect I got too clinical too quickly. Relax and snuggle with your baby – it’s miraculous what this does for your hormones.
2. Do not sit up straight whilst relaxing your shoulders – this is virtually impossible. Instead, find an angle that works for you and your baby simultaneously (fyi the perfect angle is different for everyone).
3. Try lying down. I got so exhausted and overwhelmed with instructions that I lay down through pure necessity. And it was spectacular. Lying down gave the baby room and scope to wriggle and make himself comfortable – I wasn’t holding him or tilting him or manipulating him into a ridiculous position – he simply did what made him happy. Ultimately that’s what made breastfeeding work for us.
4. Drink loads of milk. Not because it’ll go straight into your boobs but because it’ll keep you hydrated and provide you with vital protein.
5. Your baby will most likely not tilt his/her head back like the ones in the ‘helpful’ breastfeeding videos. Your baby is a newborn and not a 3-month-old breastfeeding veteran. So don’t hold your breathe for that bloody head-tilt.
6. Squeeze your boob. Cup your hand under your boob and make it more vertical-sandwich-shaped to go along with your baby’s mouth (i.e. don’t squeeze from the side in the classic C-shape as this just makes it even more awkward to fit into your baby’s mouth). Squeeze as it increases milk flow and will help your baby learn that they’re getting there.
7. Bottle feed to supplement if your baby needs it. This will give them extra energy for breastfeeding, not detract from successful feeding. They love their mama and will do anything to be close to you so don’t worry about confusion. They’ve just been born screaming into this world – they’re pretty good at accepting most things as the norm.
8. Be prepared for the hormone dump. Day 5 perfectly combines dumping every hormone your body can find on you causing you to be extraordinarily unstable whilst being the number of days by which your baby should be putting on weight. This can result in your midwife telling you that you are ‘starving your baby’ and ‘he’s crying because of you’. Neither of these statements are helpful and when sleep deprived and hormone dumped it is impossible to cope with. Give your baby a bottle, go for a nap, and start the day again. Go back to point number 1.
9. Get a new midwife if your current one is useless.
10. Have patience. Lots and lots of it. Breastfeeding won’t happen straight away, but it will happen if you persevere. Keep going. Try loads of different things and see what works. Unfortunately something that works one day might not work the next – but that statement is true for all things baby-related. And breastfeeding is no different.
11. Don’t feel guilty about Facebook stalking or keeping up with the kardashians whilst breastfeeding. I literally NEVER put my baby down (even popping to the loo was a mission) so I needed something to ease the mind-numbing stillness and searing pain that is the first few weeks of breastfeeding.
12. It hurts. Not necessarily sharp but like a grating pain over and over and it can get too much – especially at the 23rd hour of the day. Use lanolin. It’s magical.
13. It gets better. A lot better. And it is truly wonderful. Don’t ever think you can’t do it – everyone can. It’s just a matter of how hard you try. And if you want it – it’ll happen. Though if you fancy/end up bottle feeding that’s cool too. Don’t be hard on yourself – you’re feeding your baby and that’s what counts.
Squidgy Pie 